i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
