Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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