Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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