Small penises have feelings too.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
