Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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