I wish I could punch you in the face.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
