God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
