Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize