Quick, to the slutcave!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize