I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
