alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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