Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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