David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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