It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
