So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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