So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
