i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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