well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think a kid would responsible me up
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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