I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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