I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
