But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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