all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
