You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
