So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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