so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
