I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
