I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
