I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
