honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
