do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
organizing the empties. That sober.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
