That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize