no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
