im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
pop tarts are not kleenex
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize