Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize