Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize