Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
