we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
