I hope mine doesn't look like that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
