you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
