I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
