I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
