I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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