can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
tell me about the fingering
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