wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize