i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
