The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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