You really coming over, don't trick.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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