in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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