That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
