Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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