My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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