Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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