he thought i was a dude.
the day after is always just damage control
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
