i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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