Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
