do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
