I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
