Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Small penises have feelings too.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
