im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
