I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
