whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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