Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
