whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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