When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
