Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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