ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize