apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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