We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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