tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
