the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
smell my finger.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
